The Border Collie - poem by Martin Newell

Martin Newell's Collie Wulf (1988-2003) at the table with poet John Cooper Clarke after a gig in Portsmouth, 1997.

A bit of a side step this week with a poem by Martin Newell.  On first reading it, I was taken by how skilfully he captures what it’s like to live with a Border Collie.  Even though Moss has a completely different character to Wulf, they share the Collie intensity, you can almost feel the stalking and staring presence of the Collie dog.   

This poem was written in the mid 1990s when Martin was the poet in residence at the Independent.

THE BORDER COLLIE

The Border Collie is a chap

Not suited to the standard lap

And once he's settled in your place

It's he who will dictate the pace

Of all domestic ebb and flow

The visitors who come and go

So no one rises, sits or moves

Without His Majesty approves

Regarding it as Collie law

To answer callers at the door

The furry fiend in monochrome

Becomes the policeman of your home

He takes it as his own behest

To monitor each family guest

And if they disagree -- or try

He'll fix them with the Collie eye

A low-toned growl and then,

he'll creep

Around their legs like they are sheep

There's no denying his high IQ

An ear cocked for a word from you

Yet, if you make the dog aware

He owns the floor, but you, your chair

He'll understand, as Collies do

Except he won't believe it's true

Then, blissful, as you try again

He'll curl up tighter and remain.

In fact, he couldn't care one whit.

It's his world -- you just live in it.

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Thanks Martin, appreciated.

AJK